If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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