I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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