Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
