Only a mothe r could love this liver
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize