We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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