You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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