I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize