Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
