I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I think people are normalizing furries
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
