Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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