I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
