I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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