He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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