But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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