Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
