And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
