I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
