I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
