I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
