What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
