Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
