i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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