It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
