she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize