Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
