Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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