Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize