You're completely useless in the revolution.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
