you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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