I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
