12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I stole a fireplace last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
