You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize
