She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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