Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
do herpes really smell.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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