tell your sister to shave her snatch
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
