i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
