if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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