My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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