Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
