so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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