I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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