Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
