Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
