We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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