if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
