I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
