i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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