I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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