The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
These tits shall not be calmed
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
