I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
is wine microwaveable?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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