Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
