i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize