do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's blow job season.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
