You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize