You're my little dorito
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
