I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
