Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
