I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
