whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
