whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i need an iv and a liver transplant
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
