Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
