so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize