are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize