Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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