Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
