She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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