I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
