found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
