i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
