Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
